What Is a Promise Ring?

Quick answers: Left hand, ring finger, wedding band closest to the hand with the engagement ring above it. They do not need to match. If they do not sit flush, a contoured wedding band solves this. If the combined width feels tight, each ring needs to be sized slightly looser than it would be worn alone. Getting engaged answers the question of what ring you are buying. Getting married raises a new set of questions that almost nobody thinks about until they are already in the jeweller's office. Which hand? Which order? Do they have to match? What if there is a gap between them? What if they feel uncomfortable together? This article answers all of it. Which Hand and Which Finger In New Zealand and most of the English-speaking world, both the engagement ring and wedding band are worn on the ring finger of the left hand. The tradition comes from the Roman concept of the vena amoris  the vein of love, believed to run from the ring finger of the left hand directly to the heart. The anatomy is not accurate, but the tradition it created has persisted across centuries and across cultures that have largely adopted Western wedding customs. Some countries use the right hand instead  Germany, Norway, Russia, Greece, and several South American countries among them. In New Zealand, the left hand is the standard, and the combination of engagement ring and wedding band on the left ring finger is what most people expect and most jewellers design for when creating contoured or fitted wedding bands. The Order  Which Ring Goes on First The traditional order is the wedding band closest to the hand, with the engagement ring sitting above it. This means the wedding band occupies the innermost position on the finger, closest to the heart in the vena amoris tradition, and the engagement ring sits on top. At the wedding ceremony itself, the convention is to temporarily move the engagement ring to the right hand or to a different finger before the ceremony begins, so the wedding band can be placed on the bare ring finger first. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is moved back above the wedding band into its everyday position. This is why the order matters at the ceremony  so the wedding band ends up in the correct position without having to remove it and put it back on. The order is a tradition, not a rule. Many couples simply wear the rings in whatever order feels most comfortable or looks best on their specific hand. If you prefer the engagement ring closer to the hand and the wedding band above it, there is nothing wrong with that. The symbolic tradition of the wedding band closest to the heart is meaningful if it matters to you, and entirely optional if it does not. Do the Two Rings Need to Match? No. Matching is a personal choice. The most practically important question is whether the two rings sit comfortably next to each other without one damaging the other  not whether they match in metal or style. Matching metals: Both rings in the same metal (18ct yellow gold with 18ct yellow gold, platinum with platinum) create a cohesive visual pair that reads as a set. The simplest and most unified look. Contrasting metals: Different metals can look intentional and distinctive when the contrast is clear. Yellow gold engagement ring with a platinum wedding band, or a platinum engagement ring with a rose gold wedding band, are both valid combinations that read as deliberate. Yellow gold with white gold: This combination is the one most likely to read as unintentional mismatch rather than deliberate contrast, because the two metals appear similar but not identical under most lighting. If mixing warm and cool metals, the contrast between yellow gold and platinum is more visually distinct and intentional in appearance. Rose gold with other metals: Rose gold pairs naturally with both yellow gold (both warm metals with subtle tone difference) and platinum (warm against cool, clear and deliberate contrast). Rose gold with white gold carries the same partial-match problem as yellow gold with white gold. The Most Common Problem  When Rings Do Not Sit Flush The most frequently asked practical question about wearing rings together is what to do when there is a visible gap between the engagement ring and the wedding band. This almost always occurs when the engagement ring has a protruding centre stone or a raised setting that prevents a straight wedding band from sitting flush against it. A plain straight wedding band placed next to an engagement ring with a significant diamond solitaire will not sit against the ring  it will float beside it with a gap where the setting prevents contact. This gap is not a problem with either ring individually. It is the result of combining a straight band with a ring design that extends above the plane of the band. Three solutions for the ring gap problem Contoured or shaped wedding band: A contoured wedding band is curved or indented to fit around the specific profile of an engagement ring setting. It sits flush with no gap because it follows the engagement ring's outline. TJ Diamond crafts contoured wedding bands to complement any engagement ring, including rings made elsewhere. Bring your engagement ring to our Auckland studio for a precise fitting. Wear the rings on separate hands: Some people choose to wear the wedding band on the left hand and the engagement ring on the right hand after the ceremony. Both rings are present and worn daily, but on separate hands, which eliminates the gap problem entirely and gives each ring its own presence. Wear the engagement ring less frequently: Some wearers reserve the engagement ring for occasions and wear the wedding band alone for daily activities. This also protects the engagement ring from the wear and tear of everyday tasks. For the full range of TJ Diamond wedding bands including straight and contoured options, see our wedding bands collection. Ring Width and Comfort When Wearing Two Rings Together When two rings are worn on the same finger, each ring needs to fit slightly looser than it would as a standalone piece. Two rings sitting side by side compress against each other and reduce the effective space on the finger. A ring sized correctly for solo wear may feel uncomfortably tight alongside a second ring, particularly in warm weather when fingers naturally expand. Ring width combination Typical feel together Practical note 2mm band plus 2mm band Very comfortable for most fingers Delicate and minimal as a pair 2mm band plus 4mm band Comfortable for most fingers A visible width difference that reads as intentional 3mm band plus 3mm band Comfortable, moderate finger coverage The most balanced combination 4mm band plus 4mm band Comfortable for wider fingers, may feel crowded on narrower fingers Try both on together before committing 5mm band plus 4mm band Covers a significant portion of the finger Ensure each ring is sized slightly loose before ordering TJ Diamond recommends trying on the specific combination of both rings together before finalising sizing for the wedding band. Our Auckland studio holds all widths for comparison, and virtual consultations can show the proportional difference between width options before any order is placed. What to Do at the Wedding Ceremony The convention is to move the engagement ring to the right hand before the ceremony so the wedding band can be placed on the bare left ring finger first. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is moved back to the left hand above the wedding band. Some people ask a trusted friend or family member to hold the engagement ring during the ceremony to avoid the distraction of managing rings at the altar. Others place it on the right hand just before the ceremony begins. Either approach works. The important thing is that the wedding band is placed directly on the left ring finger first, so it ends up in the correct position without requiring rearrangement after the ceremony. For more on the ceremony question specifically, see our article do you wear your engagement ring during the wedding ceremony?. A Note on Protecting Both Rings Two rings worn together on the same finger will contact each other constantly during daily wear. Over time, the metal of each ring will abrade the metal of the other. This is most visible when a plain metal band rubs against a diamond-set engagement ring  the metal of the band can develop wear marks where the prongs or setting of the engagement ring make contact. The best way to minimise this wear is a contoured band that fits flush against the engagement ring setting, reducing the contact points. Platinum, the hardest fine jewellery metal, is the most wear-resistant choice for daily contact between rings. 18ct gold, both yellow and rose, wears slightly faster than platinum but develops a patina that many wearers appreciate over decades. TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers professional re-polishing and prong maintenance for both engagement rings and wedding bands for the life of every ring we make  keeping both rings in their best condition regardless of how they are worn together. Ready to choose your wedding band? Browse our wedding bands collection, or  contact our Auckland team to discuss a contoured wedding band fitted precisely to your engagement ring.

A ring that does not fit is one of the most common situations in fine jewellery. A proposal ring sized from a best guess. A wedding band ordered months before the ceremony when weight or temperature had changed. An inherited ring from a family member with different fingers. A ring worn for decades as a finger naturally changes shape. In all these cases, the question is the same: can this ring be resized, and if so, by how much and with what outcome? The answer depends on three things: the design of the ring, the metal it is made from, and how many sizes need to change. This article covers all three, including the specific ring types that cannot be resized at all. How Ring Resizing Works Sizing down — making a ring smaller To make a ring smaller, the jeweller marks the amount to be removed, cuts a small section out of the band at the back of the ring, and re-joins the two cut ends using solder or laser welding. The join is then filed, sanded, and polished until it is invisible in the finished ring. Done correctly by an experienced jeweller, a size reduction is not detectable in the finished ring. Sizing up — making a ring larger To make a ring larger, the jeweller has two options. For very small increases (half a size to one full size in yellow or rose gold), stretching the band over a mandrel is sometimes possible, gradually increasing the diameter while maintaining the band's uniform thickness. For larger increases, or for any platinum ring, the jeweller cuts the band at the back, inserts a small piece of additional metal in the same alloy, and re-joins and polishes the seam to invisibility. Metal insertion produces a more structurally sound and consistent result than stretching, and is the recommended approach for all but the smallest adjustments. How Many Sizes Can a Ring Be Safely Resized? The practical safe range for most ring resizing is one to two sizes in either direction. Within this range, the metal can be adjusted without significantly affecting the band's proportions, prong alignment, or roundness. Beyond two sizes, the structural requirements of the adjustment increase substantially. Size change Typical outcome Notes Half to one size Clean result, seamless join, fully invisible Most common and safest resize range One to two sizes Clean result with skilled jeweller, may require stone checking Recommended range for most rings Two to three sizes Possible for plain bands in good condition, more complex Prong and setting inspection essential after resize More than three sizes New ring often preferable to repeated metal stress Discuss options with jeweller before proceeding Which Rings Can and Cannot Be Resized Plain gold or platinum solitaire: Can be resized. The simplest resize. No stones near the resize area. Most straightforward outcome. Four-prong or six-prong solitaire with plain band: Can be resized. The prong setting is at the front of the ring, away from the resize area at the back. Standard resize process with prong inspection after completion. Pavé band (half pavé): Can usually be resized if the stones are set on the top half of the band only, leaving a plain metal section at the back for the resize. Complex and requires a jeweller experienced with pavé maintenance after adjustment. Half eternity ring: Can usually be resized. Stones are set on approximately half the band circumference, leaving a plain section at the back. The plain section is used for the resize adjustment. Full eternity ring: Cannot be resized. Stones run continuously around the entire band. There is no plain section to cut into for a size reduction or add metal to for a size increase without disrupting the stone setting. Accurate sizing before ordering is essential for full eternity rings. Full pavé band: Cannot be resized. Same principle as full eternity: stones cover the entire band with no plain section available for adjustment without disturbing the setting. Channel-set band (full circumference): Cannot be conventionally resized. Stones are held between two metal channels running the full circumference. Resizing would require removing and resetting all stones. Tension setting: Cannot be resized. The tension setting holds the diamond by compressing the band. Any change in band diameter changes the tension and compromises stone security. The most important ring resizing rule in the NZ market: if you are considering a full eternity ring or a full pavé band, measure your ring size precisely before ordering. These rings cannot be adjusted after the fact. A half eternity ring is always the safer choice if there is any uncertainty about sizing. For more on eternity rings and the specific sizing considerations for full vs half eternity designs, see our article what is an eternity ring? which covers this in detail. Resizing Gold vs Platinum Rings Gold rings Yellow gold and rose gold rings are the most straightforward to resize. The metal is malleable, responds well to both stretching and metal insertion, and solders cleanly. Most NZ jewellers with standard goldsmithing skills can resize a plain yellow or rose gold ring correctly. White gold rings are also gold at their core (alloyed with palladium or nickel) and resize in the same way, but may require rhodium re-plating after the resize to restore a consistent white surface across the band. Platinum rings Platinum resizing requires specialist skills and equipment. Platinum has a significantly higher melting point than gold and behaves differently during the soldering and finishing process. A platinum resize performed by a jeweller unfamiliar with the metal can result in visible porosity at the join, surface discolouration, or a seam that polishes out differently from the surrounding metal. A qualified platinum jeweller achieves a seamless, invisible result. Platinum also work-hardens with each adjustment, meaning it becomes progressively more difficult to work with the more times it is resized. This makes it important to establish the correct size as accurately as possible before the first resize, and to avoid unnecessary adjustments. TJ Diamond's Lifetime Warranty and Resizing Policy TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers ring resizing for the life of every ring we make in our Auckland studio. If your ring no longer fits due to natural finger size change over time, pregnancy, or any other reason, we resize it at no charge. The warranty also covers prong inspection and stone checking after any resize, since prong alignment can be affected by the adjustment process. Full details of what TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers are documented. If you are purchasing a ring and are unsure of your size, TJ Diamond recommends visiting our Auckland studio for a calibrated metal sizing measurement before ordering. Browse our engagement ring collection or our  wedding bands collection to see the full range of ring styles and their resizability considerations. For any question about resizing a specific TJ Diamond ring, contact our Auckland team and we will advise on the process, timeline, and any specific considerations for your ring design. Frequently Asked Questions Q1: Can an engagement ring be resized? Most engagement rings can be resized, but the ease and outcome depend on the ring's design, the metal, and how many sizes need to be changed. A plain gold or platinum solitaire band can typically be resized up or down by one to three sizes without affecting the ring's integrity or appearance. Rings with diamonds or gemstones set around the band (full eternity, pavé, or channel-set bands) are more complex to resize and may require additional stone work to maintain secure settings after adjustment. Full eternity rings, where diamonds run continuously around the entire band, cannot be conventionally resized at all. TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers ring resizing for the life of every ring we make. Q2: How many sizes can a ring be resized? For a plain gold or platinum band, most jewellers can resize up to two to three sizes up or down without significantly affecting the ring's structural integrity. Beyond two to three sizes, the metal must be significantly stretched or compressed, which can affect the band's proportions, the prong alignment, and the overall roundness of the ring. For very large size changes, making a new ring entirely is often a better outcome than repeatedly stretching or compressing an existing one. The practical safe range for most ring resizing is one to two sizes in either direction, with three sizes possible for plain bands in good condition. Q3: What types of rings cannot be resized? Full eternity rings — where diamonds or gemstones are set continuously around the entire circumference of the band — cannot be conventionally resized. There is no plain metal section available to cut into for a size reduction, or to add metal to for a size increase, without disrupting the stone setting. For full eternity rings, accurate sizing before ordering is essential. Half eternity rings, where stones are set on approximately half the band with a plain section on the back, can typically be resized by working with the plain section. Rings with complex structural elements, very thin bands, or settings that run to the extreme edge of the band may also be difficult or impossible to resize without compromise. Q4: Does resizing a ring damage it? A correctly performed ring resize by a skilled jeweller should not visibly damage the ring. For sizing down, the jeweller removes a small section of the band and re-joins the ends. For sizing up, the jeweller stretches the band or inserts a small piece of additional metal and re-joins it seamlessly. The join should be invisible in the finished ring, and the metal surface should be re-polished to match. The most common risk in resizing is in rings with stone settings close to the resize area: if a prong or setting is near the join, it may require re-tightening after the resize. TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers all resizing work on rings we have made, including any stone checking and prong maintenance after the resize. Q5: How long does ring resizing take in NZ? Most ring resizes at a professional jewellery studio in NZ take between 3 and 7 working days for a standard plain band resize. More complex resizes, including rings with stone settings that need maintenance after the resize, or rings requiring significant structural adjustment, may take 1 to 2 weeks. Urgent resizes can sometimes be accommodated faster, but rushing a resize increases the risk of visible seam lines or inadequate stone checking after the adjustment. For TJ Diamond rings, resizing is covered under the lifetime warranty and is carried out in our Auckland studio. Contact us to discuss the timeline for your specific ring. Q6: Can a platinum ring be resized? Yes, but platinum resizing requires specialist skills because platinum behaves differently from gold during the resize process. Platinum is denser and has a higher melting point than gold, which means it requires more force to work and more precise temperature control when re-joining the band. A platinum resize performed by a jeweller inexperienced with platinum can result in porosity in the join, visible seam lines, or surface discolouration. An experienced platinum jeweller achieves a seamless result. TJ Diamond's Auckland studio works with platinum regularly and all platinum ring resizing is carried out by our experienced team. Platinum's work-hardening property means resizing becomes harder the more times a platinum ring is adjusted, so it is important to establish the correct size as accurately as possible before the first resize. Q7: How do I know what ring size to order when buying a new ring? The most accurate method is to be measured in person at a jewellery studio using calibrated metal sizing rings, which account for band width (wider bands require a slightly larger size than narrower bands at the same finger). Online plastic sizer kits are a reasonable approximation for narrower bands but are less accurate for wider bands. If ordering as a surprise gift, common approaches include: borrowing a ring the recipient already wears on the correct finger and tracing the inner circle, asking a trusted family member who may know, or using the average NZ women's ring size (N, approximately US 6.75) as a starting point. TJ Diamond includes a complimentary resize within the first 12 months for any ring we make, so a slightly incorrect size on delivery is not a significant problem for most ring styles. Q8: Does TJ Diamond resize rings made by other jewellers? TJ Diamond's resizing service is primarily for rings handcrafted in our Auckland studio and covered under our lifetime warranty. For rings made elsewhere, we recommend consulting the original jeweller first, as they will have the most knowledge of the specific ring's construction, metal composition, and setting details. If the original jeweller is unavailable, a qualified Auckland jeweller can assess whether resizing is appropriate for your specific ring. Contact TJ Diamond to discuss whether we can assist with your specific ring. Q9: What is the difference between resizing up and resizing down? Resizing down (making a ring smaller) involves removing a small section of the band and re-joining the ends. This is generally the more straightforward of the two adjustments, as it reduces the band without adding new material. Resizing up (making a ring larger) involves either stretching the band uniformly around a mandrel, or cutting the band and inserting a small piece of additional metal. For small increases (half a size to one full size), stretching is sometimes possible for gold rings. For larger increases, metal insertion provides a more structurally sound and consistent result. Platinum rings are almost always resized by metal insertion rather than stretching, due to platinum's resistance to stretching. Both methods, done correctly, should be invisible in the finished ring.  

The toi et moi ring is one of the most significant engagement ring trends of the 2020s, but it is far from a new idea. The style has a history that stretches back to 18th-century France, a provenance that makes it one of the most historically meaningful engagement ring forms available, and a contemporary revival that reflects the most important shift in what NZ buyers want from an engagement ring: personal symbolism over conventional sparkle. The History of the Toi et Moi Ring The most famous toi et moi ring in history was given by Napoleon Bonaparte to Joséphine de Beauharnais on the occasion of their engagement in 1796. The ring featured two teardrop-shaped stones: a pear-cut sapphire and a pear-cut diamond, set side by side on a simple gold band so both stones faced the wearer simultaneously. The two stones were understood to represent the two people in the relationship — you and me, toi et moi — permanently united on a single band. The Napoleon and Joséphine ring sold at auction in Paris in 2013 for approximately 949,000 euros, far exceeding its pre-sale estimate, confirming both its historical significance and its continued resonance as a symbol of romantic intent. The original ring is now in a private collection. Napoleon Bonaparte proposed to Joséphine with a two-stone ring in 1796, more than 100 years before the modern diamond solitaire became the dominant engagement ring style. The toi et moi is not a trend. It is a return to one of the oldest and most explicitly romantic ring designs in the history of fine jewellery. The toi et moi style was widely adopted during the Victorian and Edwardian eras, when two-stone rings set with complementary or contrasting gemstones were a popular expression of romantic intent. The style fell out of mainstream fashion in the mid-20th century as the round solitaire became dominant, and experienced a significant revival beginning around 2022. Why the Toi et Moi Returned in 2022 The contemporary toi et moi revival was driven primarily by high-profile celebrity engagements that featured two-stone rings. Several prominent figures chose toi et moi designs in 2021 and 2022, and the resulting media coverage drove a significant increase in search volume and consumer interest for the style globally and in New Zealand. Beyond the celebrity influence, the toi et moi revival reflects a broader shift in what engagement ring buyers in NZ want from their rings. The two-stone design offers something the conventional solitaire cannot: a ring that is visually and symbolically specific to two people, where the choice of each stone and the relationship between the two stones communicates something about the relationship itself. For couples who shop for the ring together — which a growing proportion of NZ buyers do — the toi et moi allows both people's aesthetic preferences to be represented in a single ring. The Most Popular Toi et Moi Combinations The toi et moi's defining characteristic is that both stones face the wearer simultaneously, so their visual relationship — the contrast or complement between them — is always visible. The most popular combinations in the current NZ market reflect different approaches to that relationship. Stone combination Visual relationship Character Oval and pear diamond Two elongated shapes flowing together, tips facing away The most popular combination. Sweeping, directional, contemporary. Round and oval diamond Circular vs elongated — contrast in outline, harmony in sparkle Classic meets contemporary. Balanced and versatile. Oval diamond and sapphire Diamond brilliance alongside deep colour A nod to the original Napoleon and Joséphine tradition. Deeply personal. Pear and marquise diamond Two pointed shapes, tips facing toward each other Bold, directional, architectural. Suits longer fingers particularly well. Two ovals, different sizes Same shape, different scale, tilted toward each other Cohesive and intimate. The size difference implies movement and connection. Diamond and coloured gemstone Brilliance alongside colour — endless personal options The most personally specific option. Birthstone, favourite colour, meaning. How to Wear a Toi et Moi Ring A toi et moi ring is most commonly worn as an engagement ring on the ring finger of the left hand. The two stones typically sit side by side across the width of the finger rather than stacked vertically, giving the ring a horizontal orientation that reads differently from a conventional single-stone ring. Wide fingers: The horizontal two-stone orientation suits wide fingers particularly well, drawing the eye across the finger and creating width rather than length. Narrower fingers: Choose two elongated shapes pointing in the same direction (oval and pear with both tips toward the nails, or two ovals tilted inward toward each other). The directional composition elongates the visual line of the finger. Wedding band pairing: A plain slim band in the same metal typically sits most comfortably alongside a toi et moi ring, as the two-stone profile can be complex to fit a contoured band against. A plain band on each side of the toi et moi also creates a striking stacked composition. Toi et Moi vs Three-Stone Ring The toi et moi and the three-stone ring are both multi-stone engagement ring styles, but they represent different design philosophies. Toi et moi (two stones): Two stones of similar or complementary visual weight, set as equals. No hierarchy. The symbolic meaning is two people of equal significance, represented side by side. The viewer's eye moves between the two stones. Three-stone ring: One dominant centre stone flanked by two smaller side stones. Clear hierarchy. The traditional symbolic meaning is past, present, and future. The viewer's eye is directed to the centre stone first, with the side stones as supporting elements. For the three-stone style, see our three-stone engagement rings collection. Designing a Toi et Moi Ring at TJ Diamond TJ Diamond creates bespoke toi et moi rings to order in our Auckland studio. The design process begins with choosing the two stone types, shapes, and carat weights, then selecting the setting style and band design that places both stones in the correct relationship to each other on the hand. The most common starting point for NZ toi et moi buyers is the oval and pear combination. See our  oval diamond rings and   pear engagement rings for stone shape references. Browse our full  engagement ring collection to see single-stone styles that can inform the aesthetic direction for a bespoke two-stone design. Both natural and lab-grown diamonds are available for either or both stones in a toi et moi. Pairing a natural diamond with a lab-grown diamond of complementary shape is an increasingly popular choice — the two stones are visually indistinguishable in the finished ring, and the saving on the lab-grown stone can be redirected to a larger natural stone or a more elaborate setting. TJ Diamond recommends beginning a toi et moi consultation at least 10-12 weeks before your intended proposal date, as sourcing two specific complementary stones takes additional time compared to a single-stone ring.  Contact our Auckland team to arrange a virtual consultation. We can show you the specific stones together before any commitment is made, so you see how the combination reads as a pair rather than assessing each stone individually from photographs. Frequently Asked Questions Q1: What is a toi et moi ring? A toi et moi ring is a two-stone ring featuring two different gemstones or diamonds set side by side on a single band. The name comes from the French phrase meaning "you and me," and the two stones are understood to represent two people in a relationship. The style is one of the oldest engagement ring forms in fine jewellery history — Napoleon Bonaparte gave Joséphine de Beauharnais a toi et moi ring in 1796, set with a pear-shaped sapphire and a pear-shaped diamond. Contemporary toi et moi rings most commonly feature two different diamond shapes, two different coloured gemstones, or a combination of a diamond and a coloured gemstone, set so both stones face the wearer simultaneously. Q2: Why are toi et moi rings so popular in 2025? The toi et moi ring experienced a major revival starting in 2022 when several high-profile celebrity engagements featured two-stone rings, including Ariana Grande and Emily Ratajkowski. This celebrity visibility combined with a broader shift in the engagement ring market toward more personalised, non-traditional designs drove significant search volume and purchase interest in the style. By 2025, the toi et moi has become the fourth most-searched engagement ring style in New Zealand and internationally, behind round solitaire, oval solitaire, and halo. The style particularly appeals to buyers who want a ring with symbolic meaning built directly into its design, buyers who prefer a distinctive aesthetic over conventional single-stone settings, and couples who choose the ring together and want both personalities represented in its stones. Q3: What are the most popular toi et moi stone combinations in NZ? The most requested toi et moi combinations at TJ Diamond for NZ buyers are: oval and pear diamonds in the same metal (the two elongated shapes create a flowing, complementary composition), round brilliant and oval in 18ct yellow gold (classic meets contemporary within one setting), oval diamond and oval sapphire (a nod to the original Napoleon and Joséphine ring tradition), pear and marquise (two pointed-end shapes creating a directional, sweeping composition), and two oval diamonds of different sizes tilted toward each other. All combinations are available in natural and lab-grown diamonds, with any coloured gemstone specified to custom order. Q4: Which hand and finger does a toi et moi ring go on? A toi et moi ring is most commonly worn on the ring finger of the left hand as an engagement ring, the same as a conventional single-stone ring. It can also be worn as a fashion ring on any finger. The two-stone design typically sits more horizontally across the finger than a single-stone ring, as the two stones are placed side by side along the band width rather than stacked vertically. This horizontal orientation suits wide fingers particularly well, as it draws the eye across the finger rather than elongating it. For buyers with narrower fingers who want elongation, a toi et moi with two elongated shapes (oval and pear, or two marquise stones) creates a directional composition that elongates the visual line of the finger. Q5: Is a toi et moi ring suitable as an engagement ring? Yes, absolutely. The toi et moi is one of the oldest engagement ring forms in fine jewellery history, worn as a betrothal ring since at least the 18th century. Napoleon Bonaparte gave Joséphine a toi et moi ring as an engagement gift in 1796. The two-stone design carries a symbolic meaning — two people represented in a single ring — that is arguably more personally expressive than a conventional single-stone solitaire. In the current NZ market, the toi et moi is increasingly chosen by couples who shop for the ring together and want the design to reflect both personalities, by buyers who prefer a distinctive aesthetic, and by those who want a historically rooted style that is simultaneously contemporary in its revival. Q6: Can I customise the stones in a toi et moi ring at TJ Diamond? Yes. TJ Diamond creates bespoke toi et moi rings to order in our Auckland studio. You can specify any combination of diamond shapes, coloured gemstones, carat weights, and quality grades for each stone. Common custom requests include: a diamond and a sapphire matching a birthstone or significant colour, two diamonds in complementary shapes at different carat weights, a natural diamond paired with a lab-grown diamond of the same shape, or a toi et moi with specific engraving on the band between the two stones. TJ Diamond recommends beginning a bespoke toi et moi consultation at least 10-12 weeks before your intended proposal date, as sourcing two specific complementary stones takes additional time compared to a single-stone ring. Q7: What is the difference between a toi et moi ring and a three-stone ring? A toi et moi ring features two stones set side by side, typically of similar or complementary sizes, with equal visual emphasis on both. A three-stone ring features a larger centre stone flanked by two smaller side stones, with the centre stone as the clear visual focus. The three-stone design traditionally represents the past, present, and future of a relationship. The toi et moi represents two specific people in the relationship — you and me — which is a different symbolic framework. Both are multi-stone ring styles, but the toi et moi has no hierarchy between the stones, while the three-stone setting is always anchored by its centre diamond. Q8: How much does a toi et moi engagement ring cost in NZ? Toi et moi rings at TJ Diamond start from $999 NZD for a two-stone design with smaller stones, with pricing scaling based on the carat weight, quality grades, and stone types chosen for both stones. Because a toi et moi ring requires sourcing and setting two specific stones rather than one, the total cost reflects both stone costs combined. Lab-grown diamonds are available for either or both stones at 50-70% below natural equivalents, making larger or higher-quality stone combinations significantly more accessible within a defined budget. Contact TJ Diamond for a personalised quote for any specific toi et moi stone combination and design.