How to Resize a Ring

A promise ring is a ring given as a symbol of a personal commitment — most commonly a serious relationship commitment that is meaningful but does not carry the formal weight of an engagement ring or a marriage proposal. The promise ring is one of the most misunderstood pieces of jewellery in New Zealand, primarily because it sits between two better-defined categories. An engagement ring has a fixed meaning understood by everyone. A casual gift has no particular meaning. A promise ring sits in the space between: more significant than a gift, more personal than a fashion accessory, but not carrying the formal commitment of an engagement. Understanding what a promise ring is and is not helps both the giver and the recipient know exactly what they are giving and receiving. What a Promise Ring Means A promise ring carries whatever meaning the giver and recipient agree it carries. This is what distinguishes it from an engagement ring, whose meaning is fixed, and from most other jewellery, which carries no specific meaning at all. In most relationships in New Zealand, a promise ring represents one of the following commitments: A pre-engagement commitment: A serious relationship where both people are committed to each other and see a future together, but are not yet ready to formally engage. The promise ring acknowledges the seriousness of the relationship without creating the social expectation of an imminent wedding. A long-distance pledge: A physical symbol of commitment given when two people must be apart for an extended period, so the ring serves as a daily reminder of the person and the relationship while separated. A relationship milestone: A mark of a significant point in a relationship, such as a first anniversary or a moment of declared mutual commitment, that both people want to recognise with something more lasting than a dinner or a trip. A personal vow: A ring given to oneself or to mark a personal commitment of any kind, including a religious purity pledge, a personal goal, or a meaningful private promise. In this context, the ring has no romantic element at all. None of these meanings is more correct than the others. The meaning is established between the people involved, and no external definition applies. A promise ring is honest in a way that engagement rings sometimes cannot be. It says: I am committed to you, in the way and to the degree that I am committed, right now. Not more. Not less. That honesty is often more meaningful than a formal gesture made before either person is ready for it. Promise Ring vs Engagement Ring — The Key Differences Factor Promise ring Engagement ring Meaning Personal and agreed between giver and recipient Fixed: a formal commitment to marry Occasion Given at any meaningful moment, no formal proposal Given with a formal marriage proposal Finger Usually right hand ring finger (no fixed rule) Left hand ring finger (NZ and most Western countries) Social expectation None — no announcement or wedding date implied Wedding is expected to follow Typical scale Smaller and less elaborate than an engagement ring Often the most significant ring a person receives Cost range NZ $300 to $2,000 NZD typically From $999 NZD at TJ Diamond, often $3,000 to $10,000+ Which Finger Does a Promise Ring Go On? There is no fixed rule for the finger a promise ring is worn on, which is one of the most common questions people search for. The most practical and widely adopted approach in New Zealand is the right hand ring finger, for two reasons: it keeps the left hand ring finger available for a future engagement ring without creating confusion, and wearing a ring on the right hand ring finger has a clear visual meaning in most social contexts — it says 'this ring is meaningful but it is not an engagement ring.' Other options that many people in NZ choose: Left hand ring finger, worn before engagement — the ring moves to the right hand when an engagement ring takes its place on the left. Middle finger of either hand — a neutral choice with no strong social meaning attached, suited to people who do not want the ring to invite questions. Right hand middle finger or index finger — equally valid and entirely personal. The most important factor is that the finger feels right to the person wearing the ring, and that both the giver and recipient understand what the ring means regardless of which finger it occupies. When to Give a Promise Ring There is no rule about timing. A promise ring is appropriate whenever the commitment it represents feels genuine and the giver wants to mark it with something physical and lasting. Some common moments in NZ relationships: Before a long separation — one or both people leaving for work, study, or travel overseas. At a meaningful relationship anniversary — the first, second, or third anniversary, when the relationship has become serious but neither person is ready to propose. When discussing the future together seriously for the first time — a shared acknowledgment of mutual intent without the formality of an engagement. As a Valentine's Day or birthday gift that carries more weight than a typical gift. At any point where both people feel the relationship deserves a physical symbol of their commitment. A promise ring is not appropriate as a substitute for an engagement ring when one person wants to propose and the other is not ready — this use tends to create rather than resolve misunderstanding about the relationship's direction. Does a Promise Ring Need a Diamond? No. A promise ring can be any ring with any design. The most appropriate promise ring is one that suits the recipient's taste and feels like fine jewellery without being mistaken for an engagement ring at scale. A slim plain 18ct gold band with an engraving on the inside — initials, a date, a short phrase — is among the most timeless promise ring choices. A simple solitaire with a small diamond or the recipient's birthstone reads as clearly fine jewellery and carries personal meaning through the stone choice. A stackable ring designed to be worn alone as a promise ring and later alongside an engagement ring is a practical choice if the giver expects an engagement to follow. A ring with a specific design motif — a knot, an infinity shape, a simple geometric form with personal resonance — is appropriate if that motif carries meaning for the couple. The metal should match or complement the recipient's other fine jewellery. TJ Diamond handcrafts all rings in 18ct gold as standard — yellow, rose, or white gold — and platinum, giving promise rings the same material quality as any engagement or wedding ring from our Auckland studio. Promise Ring Styles at TJ Diamond A plain or engraved 18ct gold band is the most classic promise ring choice. For engraving options, see our wedding bands collection — many wedding band styles work equally well as promise rings, particularly our plain and lightly detailed bands which include free engraving. For a promise ring with a small diamond or gemstone centre, our engagement ring collection includes solitaire styles at various scales that are appropriate as promise rings as well as engagement rings. The smaller end of our solitaire range works particularly well in this context. TJ Diamond also creates fully bespoke promise rings to order in our Auckland studio. If you have a specific design in mind, a particular stone or metal combination, or an engraving you want, we work from your brief. For more on the distinction between a promise ring, an engagement ring, and a wedding band, see our article what is the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding ring. For guidance on which finger the engagement ring goes on when that time comes, see what hand does your engagement ring go on?. Contact our Auckland team to discuss a promise ring design, a bespoke commission, or to arrange a consultation at our studio or via video call. There is no commitment required to make contact, and we are happy to help with designs at any scale and any budget. Frequently Asked Questions Q1: What is a promise ring? A promise ring is a ring given as a symbol of a personal commitment between two people, without carrying the formal meaning of an engagement ring. The commitment represented can vary: most commonly it symbolises a serious relationship commitment that precedes engagement, a mutual pledge to remain together while circumstances keep two people apart, or a personal vow of any kind that one person chooses to mark with a piece of jewellery. A promise ring does not imply that a marriage proposal is coming, though in many cases one does follow later. It is simply a physical expression of a promise — whatever that promise means to the people involved. Q2: What is the difference between a promise ring and an engagement ring? An engagement ring carries a specific and universally understood meaning: a formal commitment to marry. When someone gives an engagement ring and the other person accepts, both people understand that a wedding is intended. A promise ring carries no such fixed meaning. It symbolises whatever commitment the giver and recipient agree it means — which can range from a pre-engagement promise to a simple expression of love and dedication. Promise rings are typically less expensive than engagement rings, are given without a formal proposal, are worn on different fingers (usually the right hand ring finger to distinguish them from an engagement ring), and carry no social expectation of a wedding date or announcement. Q3: Which finger does a promise ring go on? There is no fixed rule for which finger a promise ring is worn on. The most common choice in New Zealand is the right hand ring finger, which keeps the left hand ring finger available for a future engagement ring and wedding band without creating confusion about the ring's meaning. Some people wear a promise ring on the left hand ring finger before they are engaged, and move it to the right hand when the engagement ring takes its place. Others wear a promise ring on the middle finger or another finger entirely, particularly if the ring was given as a personal vow rather than a relationship commitment. The finger choice is entirely personal and should feel meaningful to the person wearing it. Q4: When should you give a promise ring? A promise ring is appropriate whenever a commitment feels meaningful enough to mark with a physical symbol, and the giver wants to give something more significant than a casual gift but is not ready or does not intend to propose. Common occasions include: a serious relationship that both people are committed to but are not ready to formalise as an engagement, a long-distance relationship where the ring serves as a physical reminder of commitment while apart, an anniversary that feels significant without being a formal proposal milestone, or a personal vow that one person wants to mark for themselves. There is no rule about how long a couple must be together before a promise ring is appropriate. Q5: Does a promise ring need to have a diamond? No. A promise ring can be any ring with any design. Many promise rings are plain metal bands, simple solitaire rings with a small gemstone, or rings with symbolic details like birthstones, engravings, or meaningful motifs. The ring does not need to follow any particular design convention because it has no fixed symbolic form the way an engagement ring does. The most important quality of a promise ring is that it holds meaning for the people involved, not that it meets any external standard of design or gemstone quality. That said, a diamond promise ring — particularly a small solitaire or a simple ring with a modest diamond — is entirely appropriate and gives the ring the visual character of fine jewellery while remaining distinct from an engagement ring in scale and occasion. Q6: How much should a promise ring cost in NZ? Promise rings in New Zealand range from a few hundred dollars for a simple plain band to several thousand dollars for a ring with a significant diamond or gemstone. Because there is no external expectation for what a promise ring should look like or cost, the budget is entirely personal. Most promise rings are less expensive than engagement rings by design — part of what distinguishes a promise ring from an engagement ring is its scale and the occasion it marks. A promise ring that costs $500 to $2,000 NZD covers a wide range of beautiful, well-crafted rings in 18ct gold. A promise ring at $300 to $500 NZD in a fine metal with a small diamond or gemstone is equally meaningful. TJ Diamond handcrafts engagement and fine jewellery rings from $999 NZD, and the same quality of handcrafting applies to any ring commissioned for a personal commitment. Q7: Can a promise ring become an engagement ring? Yes, in some relationships the promise ring is later given additional meaning — or replaced by an engagement ring — when the couple decides to formalise their commitment as an engagement. Some people choose to keep the promise ring and add the engagement ring alongside it. Others replace the promise ring with the engagement ring, retiring the first ring as a meaningful object to keep rather than wear. Some couples design the engagement ring specifically to stack or pair with the existing promise ring. None of these approaches is more correct than the others. What matters is what feels most meaningful to the specific people involved. Q8: What is a good promise ring design for NZ buyers? The most popular promise ring styles at TJ Diamond are simple, elegant designs that read as clearly fine jewellery without being mistaken for an engagement ring at a glance. A slim 18ct gold band with a small single diamond, a plain polished or brushed band with an engraving on the inside, a simple solitaire with a gemstone in the recipient's birthstone colour, or a delicate stackable ring that can later be worn alongside an engagement ring are all well-suited. The design should reflect the recipient's taste rather than following any convention, and the metal should match or complement any other fine jewellery they wear regularly. 18ct gold in yellow, rose, or white is the most appropriate metal for a fine jewellery promise ring, and is the standard TJ Diamond uses for all handcrafted rings.  

Quick answers: Left hand, ring finger, wedding band closest to the hand with the engagement ring above it. They do not need to match. If they do not sit flush, a contoured wedding band solves this. If the combined width feels tight, each ring needs to be sized slightly looser than it would be worn alone. Getting engaged answers the question of what ring you are buying. Getting married raises a new set of questions that almost nobody thinks about until they are already in the jeweller's office. Which hand? Which order? Do they have to match? What if there is a gap between them? What if they feel uncomfortable together? This article answers all of it. Which Hand and Which Finger In New Zealand and most of the English-speaking world, both the engagement ring and wedding band are worn on the ring finger of the left hand. The tradition comes from the Roman concept of the vena amoris  the vein of love, believed to run from the ring finger of the left hand directly to the heart. The anatomy is not accurate, but the tradition it created has persisted across centuries and across cultures that have largely adopted Western wedding customs. Some countries use the right hand instead  Germany, Norway, Russia, Greece, and several South American countries among them. In New Zealand, the left hand is the standard, and the combination of engagement ring and wedding band on the left ring finger is what most people expect and most jewellers design for when creating contoured or fitted wedding bands. The Order  Which Ring Goes on First The traditional order is the wedding band closest to the hand, with the engagement ring sitting above it. This means the wedding band occupies the innermost position on the finger, closest to the heart in the vena amoris tradition, and the engagement ring sits on top. At the wedding ceremony itself, the convention is to temporarily move the engagement ring to the right hand or to a different finger before the ceremony begins, so the wedding band can be placed on the bare ring finger first. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is moved back above the wedding band into its everyday position. This is why the order matters at the ceremony  so the wedding band ends up in the correct position without having to remove it and put it back on. The order is a tradition, not a rule. Many couples simply wear the rings in whatever order feels most comfortable or looks best on their specific hand. If you prefer the engagement ring closer to the hand and the wedding band above it, there is nothing wrong with that. The symbolic tradition of the wedding band closest to the heart is meaningful if it matters to you, and entirely optional if it does not. Do the Two Rings Need to Match? No. Matching is a personal choice. The most practically important question is whether the two rings sit comfortably next to each other without one damaging the other  not whether they match in metal or style. Matching metals: Both rings in the same metal (18ct yellow gold with 18ct yellow gold, platinum with platinum) create a cohesive visual pair that reads as a set. The simplest and most unified look. Contrasting metals: Different metals can look intentional and distinctive when the contrast is clear. Yellow gold engagement ring with a platinum wedding band, or a platinum engagement ring with a rose gold wedding band, are both valid combinations that read as deliberate. Yellow gold with white gold: This combination is the one most likely to read as unintentional mismatch rather than deliberate contrast, because the two metals appear similar but not identical under most lighting. If mixing warm and cool metals, the contrast between yellow gold and platinum is more visually distinct and intentional in appearance. Rose gold with other metals: Rose gold pairs naturally with both yellow gold (both warm metals with subtle tone difference) and platinum (warm against cool, clear and deliberate contrast). Rose gold with white gold carries the same partial-match problem as yellow gold with white gold. The Most Common Problem  When Rings Do Not Sit Flush The most frequently asked practical question about wearing rings together is what to do when there is a visible gap between the engagement ring and the wedding band. This almost always occurs when the engagement ring has a protruding centre stone or a raised setting that prevents a straight wedding band from sitting flush against it. A plain straight wedding band placed next to an engagement ring with a significant diamond solitaire will not sit against the ring  it will float beside it with a gap where the setting prevents contact. This gap is not a problem with either ring individually. It is the result of combining a straight band with a ring design that extends above the plane of the band. Three solutions for the ring gap problem Contoured or shaped wedding band: A contoured wedding band is curved or indented to fit around the specific profile of an engagement ring setting. It sits flush with no gap because it follows the engagement ring's outline. TJ Diamond crafts contoured wedding bands to complement any engagement ring, including rings made elsewhere. Bring your engagement ring to our Auckland studio for a precise fitting. Wear the rings on separate hands: Some people choose to wear the wedding band on the left hand and the engagement ring on the right hand after the ceremony. Both rings are present and worn daily, but on separate hands, which eliminates the gap problem entirely and gives each ring its own presence. Wear the engagement ring less frequently: Some wearers reserve the engagement ring for occasions and wear the wedding band alone for daily activities. This also protects the engagement ring from the wear and tear of everyday tasks. For the full range of TJ Diamond wedding bands including straight and contoured options, see our wedding bands collection. Ring Width and Comfort When Wearing Two Rings Together When two rings are worn on the same finger, each ring needs to fit slightly looser than it would as a standalone piece. Two rings sitting side by side compress against each other and reduce the effective space on the finger. A ring sized correctly for solo wear may feel uncomfortably tight alongside a second ring, particularly in warm weather when fingers naturally expand. Ring width combination Typical feel together Practical note 2mm band plus 2mm band Very comfortable for most fingers Delicate and minimal as a pair 2mm band plus 4mm band Comfortable for most fingers A visible width difference that reads as intentional 3mm band plus 3mm band Comfortable, moderate finger coverage The most balanced combination 4mm band plus 4mm band Comfortable for wider fingers, may feel crowded on narrower fingers Try both on together before committing 5mm band plus 4mm band Covers a significant portion of the finger Ensure each ring is sized slightly loose before ordering TJ Diamond recommends trying on the specific combination of both rings together before finalising sizing for the wedding band. Our Auckland studio holds all widths for comparison, and virtual consultations can show the proportional difference between width options before any order is placed. What to Do at the Wedding Ceremony The convention is to move the engagement ring to the right hand before the ceremony so the wedding band can be placed on the bare left ring finger first. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is moved back to the left hand above the wedding band. Some people ask a trusted friend or family member to hold the engagement ring during the ceremony to avoid the distraction of managing rings at the altar. Others place it on the right hand just before the ceremony begins. Either approach works. The important thing is that the wedding band is placed directly on the left ring finger first, so it ends up in the correct position without requiring rearrangement after the ceremony. For more on the ceremony question specifically, see our article do you wear your engagement ring during the wedding ceremony?. A Note on Protecting Both Rings Two rings worn together on the same finger will contact each other constantly during daily wear. Over time, the metal of each ring will abrade the metal of the other. This is most visible when a plain metal band rubs against a diamond-set engagement ring  the metal of the band can develop wear marks where the prongs or setting of the engagement ring make contact. The best way to minimise this wear is a contoured band that fits flush against the engagement ring setting, reducing the contact points. Platinum, the hardest fine jewellery metal, is the most wear-resistant choice for daily contact between rings. 18ct gold, both yellow and rose, wears slightly faster than platinum but develops a patina that many wearers appreciate over decades. TJ Diamond's lifetime warranty covers professional re-polishing and prong maintenance for both engagement rings and wedding bands for the life of every ring we make  keeping both rings in their best condition regardless of how they are worn together. Ready to choose your wedding band? Browse our wedding bands collection, or  contact our Auckland team to discuss a contoured wedding band fitted precisely to your engagement ring.

The toi et moi ring is one of the most significant engagement ring trends of the 2020s, but it is far from a new idea. The style has a history that stretches back to 18th-century France, a provenance that makes it one of the most historically meaningful engagement ring forms available, and a contemporary revival that reflects the most important shift in what NZ buyers want from an engagement ring: personal symbolism over conventional sparkle. The History of the Toi et Moi Ring The most famous toi et moi ring in history was given by Napoleon Bonaparte to Joséphine de Beauharnais on the occasion of their engagement in 1796. The ring featured two teardrop-shaped stones: a pear-cut sapphire and a pear-cut diamond, set side by side on a simple gold band so both stones faced the wearer simultaneously. The two stones were understood to represent the two people in the relationship — you and me, toi et moi — permanently united on a single band. The Napoleon and Joséphine ring sold at auction in Paris in 2013 for approximately 949,000 euros, far exceeding its pre-sale estimate, confirming both its historical significance and its continued resonance as a symbol of romantic intent. The original ring is now in a private collection. Napoleon Bonaparte proposed to Joséphine with a two-stone ring in 1796, more than 100 years before the modern diamond solitaire became the dominant engagement ring style. The toi et moi is not a trend. It is a return to one of the oldest and most explicitly romantic ring designs in the history of fine jewellery. The toi et moi style was widely adopted during the Victorian and Edwardian eras, when two-stone rings set with complementary or contrasting gemstones were a popular expression of romantic intent. The style fell out of mainstream fashion in the mid-20th century as the round solitaire became dominant, and experienced a significant revival beginning around 2022. Why the Toi et Moi Returned in 2022 The contemporary toi et moi revival was driven primarily by high-profile celebrity engagements that featured two-stone rings. Several prominent figures chose toi et moi designs in 2021 and 2022, and the resulting media coverage drove a significant increase in search volume and consumer interest for the style globally and in New Zealand. Beyond the celebrity influence, the toi et moi revival reflects a broader shift in what engagement ring buyers in NZ want from their rings. The two-stone design offers something the conventional solitaire cannot: a ring that is visually and symbolically specific to two people, where the choice of each stone and the relationship between the two stones communicates something about the relationship itself. For couples who shop for the ring together — which a growing proportion of NZ buyers do — the toi et moi allows both people's aesthetic preferences to be represented in a single ring. The Most Popular Toi et Moi Combinations The toi et moi's defining characteristic is that both stones face the wearer simultaneously, so their visual relationship — the contrast or complement between them — is always visible. The most popular combinations in the current NZ market reflect different approaches to that relationship. Stone combination Visual relationship Character Oval and pear diamond Two elongated shapes flowing together, tips facing away The most popular combination. Sweeping, directional, contemporary. Round and oval diamond Circular vs elongated — contrast in outline, harmony in sparkle Classic meets contemporary. Balanced and versatile. Oval diamond and sapphire Diamond brilliance alongside deep colour A nod to the original Napoleon and Joséphine tradition. Deeply personal. Pear and marquise diamond Two pointed shapes, tips facing toward each other Bold, directional, architectural. Suits longer fingers particularly well. Two ovals, different sizes Same shape, different scale, tilted toward each other Cohesive and intimate. The size difference implies movement and connection. Diamond and coloured gemstone Brilliance alongside colour — endless personal options The most personally specific option. Birthstone, favourite colour, meaning. How to Wear a Toi et Moi Ring A toi et moi ring is most commonly worn as an engagement ring on the ring finger of the left hand. The two stones typically sit side by side across the width of the finger rather than stacked vertically, giving the ring a horizontal orientation that reads differently from a conventional single-stone ring. Wide fingers: The horizontal two-stone orientation suits wide fingers particularly well, drawing the eye across the finger and creating width rather than length. Narrower fingers: Choose two elongated shapes pointing in the same direction (oval and pear with both tips toward the nails, or two ovals tilted inward toward each other). The directional composition elongates the visual line of the finger. Wedding band pairing: A plain slim band in the same metal typically sits most comfortably alongside a toi et moi ring, as the two-stone profile can be complex to fit a contoured band against. A plain band on each side of the toi et moi also creates a striking stacked composition. Toi et Moi vs Three-Stone Ring The toi et moi and the three-stone ring are both multi-stone engagement ring styles, but they represent different design philosophies. Toi et moi (two stones): Two stones of similar or complementary visual weight, set as equals. No hierarchy. The symbolic meaning is two people of equal significance, represented side by side. The viewer's eye moves between the two stones. Three-stone ring: One dominant centre stone flanked by two smaller side stones. Clear hierarchy. The traditional symbolic meaning is past, present, and future. The viewer's eye is directed to the centre stone first, with the side stones as supporting elements. For the three-stone style, see our three-stone engagement rings collection. Designing a Toi et Moi Ring at TJ Diamond TJ Diamond creates bespoke toi et moi rings to order in our Auckland studio. The design process begins with choosing the two stone types, shapes, and carat weights, then selecting the setting style and band design that places both stones in the correct relationship to each other on the hand. The most common starting point for NZ toi et moi buyers is the oval and pear combination. See our  oval diamond rings and   pear engagement rings for stone shape references. Browse our full  engagement ring collection to see single-stone styles that can inform the aesthetic direction for a bespoke two-stone design. Both natural and lab-grown diamonds are available for either or both stones in a toi et moi. Pairing a natural diamond with a lab-grown diamond of complementary shape is an increasingly popular choice — the two stones are visually indistinguishable in the finished ring, and the saving on the lab-grown stone can be redirected to a larger natural stone or a more elaborate setting. TJ Diamond recommends beginning a toi et moi consultation at least 10-12 weeks before your intended proposal date, as sourcing two specific complementary stones takes additional time compared to a single-stone ring.  Contact our Auckland team to arrange a virtual consultation. We can show you the specific stones together before any commitment is made, so you see how the combination reads as a pair rather than assessing each stone individually from photographs. Frequently Asked Questions Q1: What is a toi et moi ring? A toi et moi ring is a two-stone ring featuring two different gemstones or diamonds set side by side on a single band. The name comes from the French phrase meaning "you and me," and the two stones are understood to represent two people in a relationship. The style is one of the oldest engagement ring forms in fine jewellery history — Napoleon Bonaparte gave Joséphine de Beauharnais a toi et moi ring in 1796, set with a pear-shaped sapphire and a pear-shaped diamond. Contemporary toi et moi rings most commonly feature two different diamond shapes, two different coloured gemstones, or a combination of a diamond and a coloured gemstone, set so both stones face the wearer simultaneously. Q2: Why are toi et moi rings so popular in 2025? The toi et moi ring experienced a major revival starting in 2022 when several high-profile celebrity engagements featured two-stone rings, including Ariana Grande and Emily Ratajkowski. This celebrity visibility combined with a broader shift in the engagement ring market toward more personalised, non-traditional designs drove significant search volume and purchase interest in the style. By 2025, the toi et moi has become the fourth most-searched engagement ring style in New Zealand and internationally, behind round solitaire, oval solitaire, and halo. The style particularly appeals to buyers who want a ring with symbolic meaning built directly into its design, buyers who prefer a distinctive aesthetic over conventional single-stone settings, and couples who choose the ring together and want both personalities represented in its stones. Q3: What are the most popular toi et moi stone combinations in NZ? The most requested toi et moi combinations at TJ Diamond for NZ buyers are: oval and pear diamonds in the same metal (the two elongated shapes create a flowing, complementary composition), round brilliant and oval in 18ct yellow gold (classic meets contemporary within one setting), oval diamond and oval sapphire (a nod to the original Napoleon and Joséphine ring tradition), pear and marquise (two pointed-end shapes creating a directional, sweeping composition), and two oval diamonds of different sizes tilted toward each other. All combinations are available in natural and lab-grown diamonds, with any coloured gemstone specified to custom order. Q4: Which hand and finger does a toi et moi ring go on? A toi et moi ring is most commonly worn on the ring finger of the left hand as an engagement ring, the same as a conventional single-stone ring. It can also be worn as a fashion ring on any finger. The two-stone design typically sits more horizontally across the finger than a single-stone ring, as the two stones are placed side by side along the band width rather than stacked vertically. This horizontal orientation suits wide fingers particularly well, as it draws the eye across the finger rather than elongating it. For buyers with narrower fingers who want elongation, a toi et moi with two elongated shapes (oval and pear, or two marquise stones) creates a directional composition that elongates the visual line of the finger. Q5: Is a toi et moi ring suitable as an engagement ring? Yes, absolutely. The toi et moi is one of the oldest engagement ring forms in fine jewellery history, worn as a betrothal ring since at least the 18th century. Napoleon Bonaparte gave Joséphine a toi et moi ring as an engagement gift in 1796. The two-stone design carries a symbolic meaning — two people represented in a single ring — that is arguably more personally expressive than a conventional single-stone solitaire. In the current NZ market, the toi et moi is increasingly chosen by couples who shop for the ring together and want the design to reflect both personalities, by buyers who prefer a distinctive aesthetic, and by those who want a historically rooted style that is simultaneously contemporary in its revival. Q6: Can I customise the stones in a toi et moi ring at TJ Diamond? Yes. TJ Diamond creates bespoke toi et moi rings to order in our Auckland studio. You can specify any combination of diamond shapes, coloured gemstones, carat weights, and quality grades for each stone. Common custom requests include: a diamond and a sapphire matching a birthstone or significant colour, two diamonds in complementary shapes at different carat weights, a natural diamond paired with a lab-grown diamond of the same shape, or a toi et moi with specific engraving on the band between the two stones. TJ Diamond recommends beginning a bespoke toi et moi consultation at least 10-12 weeks before your intended proposal date, as sourcing two specific complementary stones takes additional time compared to a single-stone ring. Q7: What is the difference between a toi et moi ring and a three-stone ring? A toi et moi ring features two stones set side by side, typically of similar or complementary sizes, with equal visual emphasis on both. A three-stone ring features a larger centre stone flanked by two smaller side stones, with the centre stone as the clear visual focus. The three-stone design traditionally represents the past, present, and future of a relationship. The toi et moi represents two specific people in the relationship — you and me — which is a different symbolic framework. Both are multi-stone ring styles, but the toi et moi has no hierarchy between the stones, while the three-stone setting is always anchored by its centre diamond. Q8: How much does a toi et moi engagement ring cost in NZ? Toi et moi rings at TJ Diamond start from $999 NZD for a two-stone design with smaller stones, with pricing scaling based on the carat weight, quality grades, and stone types chosen for both stones. Because a toi et moi ring requires sourcing and setting two specific stones rather than one, the total cost reflects both stone costs combined. Lab-grown diamonds are available for either or both stones at 50-70% below natural equivalents, making larger or higher-quality stone combinations significantly more accessible within a defined budget. Contact TJ Diamond for a personalised quote for any specific toi et moi stone combination and design.